Whatchu doin' Katie?*
Well, after pure harassment from everyone that I know, I have decided to attempt to write out the gibberish that rattles around in my head onto the electronic pages of the World Wide Web. (Yup- I am bringing that one back). Ok, maybe it was not actually harassment as much as a casual "hey... you should consider a blog"; and, maybe it was not everyone I know- but I think at least 3 people mentioned something. And, now that I think about it - they were probably really just sick of me taking up their Facebook newsfeed with my pointless rants. But, it took me 15 minutes (ok- 30... 40) to create this damn thing so I will at least pretend to do it for a bit.
What made you finally cave?*
Welp, I talk to myself a lot (probably to the point that I should be embarrassed or seek help). Often by the time that I finish my "selfie-convo" (ha) I am pretty sure that I had made a really good point in there somewhere, but for the life of me I cannot remember what. Maybe by writing down my thoughts I will remember some of these/solve all of the world's problems. Or, at least with my rants- make a few people realize what jackasses they are.
Now why would anyone actually want to read anything that you write?*
I have no idea. This is why I have not attempted such a thing already. What I have gathered from Facebook is that people enjoy sarcasm, stories that make myself or someone else look like an idiot, and stories/pictures of my kid. Because he is really damn cute. Seriously. I'll show you later. If I can figure out how to post a picture on here...
What should you disclose before wasting everyone's time?*
I believe that my best friend (shot out [or is it shout? These are things I should probably know prior to writing a blog] to Emily- woot woot!) summed it up quite nicely the other day:
"I feel like everyone wants you to write a book. And while I think it would be absolutely hilarious (that IS why you are my best friend), I feel like there are some important things that they would need to understand prior to reading:
1. It would be made up of one ginormous run-on sentence.
2. It would be written exactly like you talk.
3. It would be primarily comprised of non-sensical/made-up words (ex: Norwedish).
4. It more than likely would require translation by your husband or myself."
I was quite impressed with the accuracy of her points. Along with these, I would like to add:
5. I occasionally curse, although I have greatly improved in this area since popping out a baby. Well, I slightly improved. Well, I tried. It's a work in progress...
6. I tend to embellish.
7. I try not to whine in my posts. But, I will often wine while writing them. (And seriously, I really like wine and coffee. I will most likely write while drinking one or the other. And, usually it is a lot of one or the other. You will probably often be able to tell which- but don't let the time stamp fool you).
8. Me bitching in posts will occur. A lot. As I enjoy it greatly and I can only hope that someday the person that was the precursor to my bitching in the first place, might read my post and correct their foolish ways.
9. I love cheesy puns. (See #7).
10. I just rediscovered my love for italics whilst writing this post.
11. I will use words like 'whilst' more often than I should, and often incorrectly.
12. I would like to pre-apologize to all of my former English teachers and to anyone who prefers that words and punctuation be used in the correct manner.
So, if you do not enjoy the destruction of the English language- you might want to depart from this World Wide Web page now. It is not that I do not have appreciation for it (ahhh- double negative!), I just think that I can express myself better in my own tongue. Especially if it is stained with red wine.
Cheers,
Katie
*These questions were part of a selfie-convo interview. With that being said, I would like to thank myself for taking the time to interview me.
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