I don't know about you- but I recently wanted to smack the shit out of the groundhog when he saw his stupid shadow, implying that we're going to have to endure even more of this winter weather crap.
2. You regret owning a dog because you have to let them outside, in the cold, to use the bathroom.
3. You really regret owning a dog when you have to chase after them when they run off, in the cold, in your not-warm-enough pajamas, while your toddler is left alone inside. Destroying your home.
8. You ran out of firewood (for the 9th time), except for the one log you kept to throw at the firewood delivery guy, provided he is stupid enough to try and approach your house.
9. You miss seeing any form of color, other than brown, in your yard. This includes dead grass, dead plants, and the dog shit that you have been avoiding to go and pick up because it is so damn cold.
10. You scour the internet to see if anyone has created an air freshener that smells like fresh cut grass, because you are starting to forget what that smells like. And now, you want to bathe in it. (If this does not exist- I call dibs.)
11. Any Jimmy Buffet song brings tears to your eyes because they are just a cruel reminder of beach days, warm weather, and margaritas.
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| My thoughts exactly. |
This hatred of the groundhog and longing for warmer days- led to my new list:
Top 20 Signs You Are Ready to Give Old Man Winter
(and the Groundhog) a F-ing Beat Down.
1. On the one random warm day when you were actually able to whip out and dust off your trusty flip flops, you were suddenly reminded that you have toenails. And, they have missed you.
2. You regret owning a dog because you have to let them outside, in the cold, to use the bathroom.
3. You really regret owning a dog when you have to chase after them when they run off, in the cold, in your not-warm-enough pajamas, while your toddler is left alone inside. Destroying your home.
4. You have caught up on every TV series, ever created, in the history of TV. Most of which you will forever be bitter towards because you wasted part of your life on them.
5. Sweaters, scarves, gloves, and jackets are starting to make your inner claustrophobia come out- to the point that you are opting to freeze your ass off and leave them in the closet.
6. You are more than over the constant stream of snot flowing out of your kid's nose. And, especially out of other kid's noses. Also, you are pretty sure that your kid's doctor's office is lacing their suckers with 12 other possible illnesses every time you pay them a visit.
7. You realize you have been wearing gray and black for approximately four months straight. And... you don't really own enough of either color to warrant the excess wear.
8. You ran out of firewood (for the 9th time), except for the one log you kept to throw at the firewood delivery guy, provided he is stupid enough to try and approach your house.
9. You miss seeing any form of color, other than brown, in your yard. This includes dead grass, dead plants, and the dog shit that you have been avoiding to go and pick up because it is so damn cold.
10. You scour the internet to see if anyone has created an air freshener that smells like fresh cut grass, because you are starting to forget what that smells like. And now, you want to bathe in it. (If this does not exist- I call dibs.)
11. Any Jimmy Buffet song brings tears to your eyes because they are just a cruel reminder of beach days, warm weather, and margaritas.
12. Your skin has reached a new level of pale, ashy, and translucenency from lack of sun. I do not care what you try to sell me- the best cure is SUN.
13. You have not worn blush in months because the wind takes care of that for you as soon as you step outside. However, it also makes you look like Rudolph. So, you just look stupid and really should forget makeup altogether.
14. You weirdly start to miss salads and have worn out every crockpot recipe Pinterest had to offer. Which, if you are the one person not on Pinterest- that means a shit ton.
15. Grill? Wait. We've got a grill?
16. You repeatedly find your face shoved between the iron rods of a locked clubhouse fence, staring longingly at the glistening pool. Yes, people can see you.
17. You get slightly frantic when the Girl Scouts come a knocking at your door; because, obviously they are selling delicious cookies; but, you also know that they always come when spring/bathing suit season is approaching. (I am pretty sure Weight Watchers secretly owns the Girl Scouts.)
18. You cannot wait to wear a bathing suit, even if that extra 10 lbs. of flubber that your thighs and love handles have packed on from those Girl Scout cookies... is not.
19. You experience a dangerous level of jealousy towards your friends because they post pictures of their luxurious, warm, tropical vacations. Are they your friends? Or, were they put on this Earth just to torture you?
20. Even though it is a really weird concept, (that I will never fully understand and will always somewhat despise because I have a kid) you forget how much you miss daylight until you spring forward.
Happy day after Sprungeth Day,
Katie
*Sorry for the change in fonts- Blogger app is a b****
15. Grill? Wait. We've got a grill?
16. You repeatedly find your face shoved between the iron rods of a locked clubhouse fence, staring longingly at the glistening pool. Yes, people can see you.
17. You get slightly frantic when the Girl Scouts come a knocking at your door; because, obviously they are selling delicious cookies; but, you also know that they always come when spring/bathing suit season is approaching. (I am pretty sure Weight Watchers secretly owns the Girl Scouts.)
18. You cannot wait to wear a bathing suit, even if that extra 10 lbs. of flubber that your thighs and love handles have packed on from those Girl Scout cookies... is not.
19. You experience a dangerous level of jealousy towards your friends because they post pictures of their luxurious, warm, tropical vacations. Are they your friends? Or, were they put on this Earth just to torture you?
20. Even though it is a really weird concept, (that I will never fully understand and will always somewhat despise because I have a kid) you forget how much you miss daylight until you spring forward.
Happy day after Sprungeth Day,
Katie
*Sorry for the change in fonts- Blogger app is a b****
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