Well, I personally need a lot.
Patience has never been a strong suit of mine. I burn the crap out of my mouth rather than wait 2 seconds for my coffee to cool. I screw up my entire paint job rather than wait for the first coat to dry. I also switch checkout lines at the grocery store approximately 5 times rather than just wait in the first one, where I would have been out the door the quickest.
Ok, I guess it's safe to say impatience is unfortunately a strong suit of mine.
I came by it honestly, that's for sure. My dad is also known for his extreme lack of patience. For instance, if we are supposed to be somewhere at 5:00 pm- he insists we be there by 3:00 pm at the latest! We still have never figured that one out, but for some reason in that large head of his, it just has to be done. We also are both terrible and often disclose what we are giving each other as gifts, well before the "opening date." But hey- it makes us happy. In our opinion, it is much better that sitting around in agony wondering what you are getting. (Yes, Christmas is actually a stressful time for us due to gift anticipation.)
This last week or so I've really had to work on my patience. Or, at least try to make some exist. We are weening our 2 year-old off of his beloved pacifier (mainly because he bit through his last two).
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| This is an example of how the paci used to work. |
Removal of the beloved paci has resulted in either no nap or a super shitty nap. I have in fact become an evil guard dog that awaits at the top of the staircase to scare the bejesus out of him as soon as he emerges from his room. (Yes, his room is upstairs which only makes this weening process that much more annoying- but at least my ass is getting tighter.)
I am pretty sure I've lost my mind and gone to Crazyland at least 900 times in these last few days. It is now my first home, with reality being a distant second.
I have tried bribery, begging, threats and everything in between.
I have yelled and I have cried.
I have had to walk out of the house and pace in the driveway, like a crazy person.
I have thought I must be doing something wrong, all of it wrong. I simply lost faith in myself and my mothering skills. And, I really lost my patience. I am talking- poof! It was gone.
I would like to say that all of the sudden he started going down easy and it was like the paci never existed. But, this is not the case. He is literally up their banging around right now as I type. (After my four attempts thus far today.)
I have learned that when dealing with kids- remaining as sane as humanly possible is of vital importance. They thrive on your lack of sanity. When you feel like your head is about to explode and banging it into a wall seems like the only logical thing to do- remember this: it will only result in a hole in your wall. Also, your headache will still be there and it most likely be much worse.
After a few days of extreme, gut wrenching frustration, I kind of went to a place of "I just give up." I looked at my child and told him I was over it. I sat on the couch and just had to space out for a bit. He eventually realized I was completely, legitimately ignoring him and he went off to play. After a few minutes of indulging in self-pity (and maybe some wine), I got up to attempt to do some laundry that had been piling up due to my normal "chore" time being taken over by "for the love- please just go to sleep" time.
The next morning when I went to pick him up, he was heavier. When I went to put his pants on him, I had to loosen the waist and uncuff them. He had grown. Overnight. Noticeably.
That was the moment.
I decided then, that I would not waste the next inch of his life yelling at him and being crazy mom, living in Crazyland. Because, in a few more inches, he will not be asking me to lay with him anymore. A few more inches, he will be locking me out of his room. A few more inches, he will be the one yelling at me. A few more inches, he will be out late with his friends while I am at home praying for his safe return. A few more inches, he will be sleeping in his dorm room. A few more inches, he will be asking another woman to lay with him.
Eventually, he will be all inched up.
So, I now try to yell less and remind us both that although he is not always that sweet child o' mine, he is always my best buddy. Of course, sometimes your best buddy still makes you crazy- but they help bring you back from Crazyland too.
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| Oddly, the only 2 things that I personally crafted for him: the sign and the growth chart ruler. Both seem fitting for this post. |
Yes, Axl Rose, I will try to find that patience that you so eloquently sing about. But, I also know that lots of times I will find myself lost deep in that jungle you are always welcoming me into. I will just have to count on my best buddy, that sweet child o' mine, to help me find my way out.
Slow down and smell the hell out of those roses,
Katie
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